🎭 Dearborn’s Drama King: When the Play Becomes the Scandal 🎭

If you thought Dearborn theater productions were all about Shakespeare, Disney adaptations, and that one kid who insists on singing louder than everyone else… think again.

This winter, the city’s beloved (and by beloved, we mean “everyone knows him but nobody actually likes him”) Dearborn Community Theater Director — Hajj Abu Youssef Khaled Ali El-Mashrou’ Beydun al-3alameen the Third — found himself in the spotlight for all the wrong reasons.

It started with whispers:

“Why does every rehearsal last five hours?”

“Why are they doing Les Mis but somehow every scene involves sitting in his office?”

“Why is there always hummus in the prop room?”

Then came the “incident.” We won’t get into the details (because frankly, the streets of Dearborn already did that for us), but let’s just say the script went from High School Musical to Law & Order: Dearborn Unit real quick.

Act 1: The Private Rehearsals

Apparently, our dear director loved “one-on-one coaching.” It’s a classic Dearborn move: invite you for “mentorship,” then proceed to talk about his glory days in the 90s when he “almost made it big in Hollywood” (translation: he was an unpaid extra in a Ford commercial).

Act 2: The Family PR Machine

Within 48 hours of the tea spilling, the billboards started popping up:

• “He’s a Man of the Community” (with a blurry photo of him shaking hands at a mosque).

• “Innocent Until Proven Haram.”

• “Support Local Arts” (because nothing says arts like awkward apologies on Instagram Live).

  
  

The Facebook posts from family members were even better: “If you knew him like we do, you’d know he is incapable of wrongdoing.” Yes, Auntie, that’s exactly what every Netflix documentary starts with.

Act 3: The Dearborn Split

Half the city said: “Cancel him!”

The other half said: “Eh, but he did do a nice play for the kids that one time.”

And then there’s the third half (yes, math is optional here) that only cared because Channel 4 mentioned Dearborn for once without saying “drag racing” or “baklava festival.”

Act 4: The Halal Redemption Tour

Rumor has it, Hajj Abu Youssef is planning a comeback play titled:

“Misunderstood: A Tragic Comedy in 3 Acts”

Sponsored by Biggby Coffee and two random hookah lounges.

Tickets will be half off if you bring your own lawyer.

Moral of the Story (Satirical Edition): In Dearborn, scandals don’t end careers — they just sell more tickets.

📢 Now Let’s Get Serious for a Minute

Satire aside — situations like these are a reminder that parents and guardians need to be vigilant when it comes to who their children spend time with, especially in unsupervised environments.

Important Tips for Parents

1. Know who’s in charge – Whether it’s a theater group, sports team, or after-school club, research the people running the program. Google is free. So are background checks in some cases.

2. Drop in unannounced – Don’t just drop your kid off and leave. Show up at random times. Let them know you’re involved.

3. Encourage open communication – Make sure your kids feel safe telling you if something makes them uncomfortable. And believe them when they do.

4. Watch for red flags – Adults who consistently want one-on-one time with minors without other supervision should be questioned.

5. Trust your gut – If something feels off, it probably is.

   
   

The Importance of Community Vigilance

Protecting our youth isn’t about paranoia — it’s about being proactive. Dearborn’s a close-knit community, but that can make it even easier for people to hide in plain sight.

Stay alert. Keep the real drama on stage.

A Call to Action

Let’s not just sit back and watch the show unfold. We need to engage, question, and demand accountability. The arts should uplift, not undermine.

So, what’s next? Will we continue to let the drama unfold, or will we step up and take action? The choice is ours.

Yours truly,

Habib