🎭 The Midnight Masked Creep of Dearborn Heights: Is It a Mohamad or a Justin?

Habib
Jun 25
3 min read

Some cities get crime. Some get political scandals. Dearborn Heights? We got a masked man pulling up on porches at midnight like he’s delivering trauma door-to-door. He’s not robbing anyone. He’s not saying a word. He just stands there, masked, silent, like the horror movie nobody bought tickets for but everyone’s now starring in.

Ring cameras light up. Porch lights flicker on. Aunties start texting the family group chat, and someone yells, “Check if the cousin from Canada is in town!” But deep down, the real fear isn’t just that someone’s creeping—it’s the question no one’s brave enough to ask out loud:

Is it a Mohamad… or a Justin?

🕵️ Let’s Break It Down: The Cultural Suspect Sketch

If it’s a Justin:

You’ll find out later he lives in his mom’s garage “by choice.”
Owns three snakes and a podcast nobody listens to.
Drinks kombucha but calls hummus “exotic.”
Wears the mask because “society wears masks every day.”
His court defense will be: performance art.

But if it’s anMohamad:

He’s got a silver Charger with unpaid tickets parked five houses down.
Has a TikTok account named “@MOHAMADCREEPS” with 47 followers and one post: “watch till end 👻.”
Wears the mask because “Wallah bro I was bored.”
Believes fear is an emotion… best filmed for content.
His mom will show up to court and yell “He’s a good boy!” while throwing a sandal at the judge.

🏘️ Dearborn Logic: Fear, Flex, Repeat

We used to worry about package thieves. Now, we worry about haunted pranksters with a social media addiction and a vague sense of purpose. Security systems are lit up like Times Square. Porch lights stay on longer than people’s marriages. And still—the guy shows up like it’s Eid and he forgot which house gives out cash.

This is not crime. This is psychological warfare, Dearborn-style.

🎤 Community Reactions (If They Were Honest):

Facebook Moms:
“This is why I keep a taser in the kitchen drawer, next to the mahshi spices.”
TikTok Teens:
“Yo if I catch him on cam, I’m putting sad piano music over it and calling it ‘The Masked Arab.’”
Auntie WhatsApp Chains:
“Beware of jinn in the shape of a man. Also, don’t wear black at night. Also, stop eating after 10 PM.”
Uncles:
“Back in my day, we knocked on doors to propose. Not to go viral.”

🎬 A New Genre: Arab American Horror Comedy

Forget “Scream.” This is “Yalla, Run!”

Every doorbell cam becomes a suspense thriller. Every knock is a heart attack. Every hoodie is suspect. In Dearborn Heights, you don’t need Freddy or Jason. You just need a bored Gen Z with a balaclava and too much Monster energy.

🧪 A Modest Proposal

Maybe this is what happens when:

You take away Eid fireworks
Ban drifting on Ford Road
And let your cousin buy a ski mask from Amazon

We’re not saying it’s your nephew. We’re just saying—if he suddenly deleted Snapchat and started wearing all black, it might be time to check the garage.

🧼 Closing Thought

Dearborn doesn’t get haunted. It gets clowned. And in this city, the horror isn’t what’s behind the mask—it’s the fact that no one’s surprised anymore.

So next time your Ring cam goes off, take a deep breath, hold your bat tight, and ask the only question that matters: